When life gives you a storm, we need to learn to dance in the rain. And that is how I felt this evening as a big storm rolled in across the valley.
Abby and I had gone to Relics, her favorite rock shop, earlier in the afternoon. A soapstone statue spoke to my heart – a carving of a family of four holding hands in a circle. It reminded me of what was and is no more, as this 8th day of August marks two months since Jesse left our earthly presence and family.
There were a number of events this past week, that I took the kids to alone. Typically I would be strolling park grounds hand in hand with him while Kyle did his reenacting, or he would have walked with Abby and I to visit Marv’s memorial tree. Instead we find ourselves wondering if his memorial tree will be planted across the path from Marv’s.
I miss him so much, and the only way I feel I can cope is to stay busy and help others. So many people I meet are experiencing awful side effects from medications. Often I hear how they are told, “we are not sure what is wrong with you, but here is a pill, let’s see if it can help.” In other words, we are used as lab rats. This infuriating practice only makes me more passionate about teaching people how to make healthier choices so they can reset their bodies so it can heal as God designed it to do.
I am finding myself a single mom because of, what I feel is apparent after reading the side effects, opiate Rx meds. Yes, the doling out of medications without full disclosure is a practice that infuriates me. It is these feelings that motivate me towards His higher purpose. I know there is a reason I am here to weather this storm.
So on this day, I know that God upholds me when my spirit is feeling weak. As I shed tears in the rock shop upon finding the statue, Abby leaned in to give me a “public” hug. She has written her letters to her father, and tomorrow we shall get helium balloons and send them skyward.
I will continue to put each foot forward on this path in life, even when my feet will fail, and call upon His name when the “oceans rise”. The worship song, Oceans, really spoke to my heart at Blackhawk Church this past Sunday. It is definitely making my playlist of songs for the oasis. I am certain the words will speak to the heart of another soul who finds solace there.
I rest in His embrace, thankful that I am His,
Today in Jesse's Oasis I once again admired the rudbeckia that has bloomed for the past week. (A beautiful gift from my Arbonne family - thank you girlfrienids!)
As I did so, a Monarch butterfly fluttered past, sweeping into and around the oasis, leaving a trail of its glorious wonder.
When I look at a butterfly, its perfect symmetry - there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that it is a Divine creation. No random explosion of black hole, no scattering of stardust - could produce such perfection.
The glories of earthy beauty are created just for US! It is a minute glimpse of the beauty and the glories we will see in heaven. The golden yellow petals of Black-Eyed Susans hint at the glorious rays of the Light we will experience one day, if you have put your faith and trust in the promise of Eternal life.
Today's message in "Jesus Calling" is to "worship Me in the beauty of holiness"...do you see it in His flowers?
"Ascribe to the Lord the glory of his name; worship the Lord in holy splendor." Ps. 29:2 NRSV
As you go throughout your day, may you tune into the beauty that surrounds us...the flowers, the birds, the trees, a calming lake, a heavenly sky...you might even see a message in the clouds. The other day our daughter said she had seen the word "LOVE". I have no doubt that God created that gift especially for her, His way of comforting a twelve year old who has lost her beloved earthly father. It is in this perfect Love, that only comes from God, that we can experience a closeness with the One who created us.
May you find Shalom,
Health advocate, educator and wellness consultant...I am a forever student of integrative and holistic approaches to wellness.
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