Although there is no biblical mention of signs from heaven after death, that I am aware of, I have been told that a cardinal is a symbol of a loved one’s presence. I waited to share this photo until today, June 8, on the 5th anniversary of Jesse’s being called to his Heavenly Home. What I observe is that the male cardinal is perched higher than his mate. The analogy is not lost on me – Jesse is in the heavenly realm and I am left here, in this lower, sinful world to be not only a mother, but a father, to my children. Back then I felt very much inadequate to be the latter, and still do. So I must leave that up to God. I remind my children that He never abandons His children – and is with them through all the trials and tribulations we will most certainly face in this world.
(WARNING - THIS IS LONG.)
Last night I was remembering Abby singing to her father in the ER, the song “Oceans” which we had sung earlier that morning during worship service five years ago. I remember Kyle not understanding why he should remain at the hospital, as he was certain his dad would be coming home. I remembered Jesse telling the nurse that he did not want morphine – he asked for tapping. Our lifegroup church family arrived. Maureen tapped the tops of his feet, Joan B. his knees while I tapped my beloved’s forehead – to reduce his pain, so that he could remain coherent with his family and friends.
Jesse’s lung had collapsed late afternoon, and I knew in my gut that once he was taken from home to the hospital that he would not be returning. I had overheard Jesse speaking to Jesus as I sat at his bedside, so I knew it was THE day. Reflecting, I am thankful for the crazy driving of our neighbor, Shawn – as he followed the ambulance with our kids. Staying with the ambulance no matter what – even if it meant going through a red light, or two. To this day Abby still talks about Shawn’s driving at that time, Kyle laughs about it – which is a huge blessing considering the reality of the those moments in time. What I remembered, riding in the ambulance, twas that our spiritual mentor, Marv Knipfer had gone on ahead of Jesse amost 5 years earlier to the day – and would be greeting Jesse when he entered the Kingdom. Marv and Jesse were two peas in a pod, both men of great faith and complete trust in where they were going - and no fear of death. These are blessings I will always remember.
I also was a bit angry last night…remembering that the young doctor in the ER gave my husband fentanyl as a part of the procedure to drain the lung. Fentanyl – which compromises the respiratory system. When I asked why you would give a patient with a collapsed lung a drug that shuts down the lungs, his answer , “it’s standard procedure.” Seriously?! Yes, this is a large part of why I distrust the medical establishment, that and the fact that I seemed to know more about my husband’s cancer than the oncologist on a number of issues, including hormones. He was always surprised when lab tests proved me right. I frustrated him. Jesse didn’t want to take the poison – that wasn’t going to do him much good other than, “give his body more time for the immune system to kick in.” Jesse asked the doctor how putting poison in his body would engage his immune system. All the oncologist had to say is, “that’s all we have to offer.” I discussed practices/treatments done in Europe and he said that was not in his breadbox. It was chemo, radiation and Lupron….that’s all he had to offer. Since we were a family of meager financial means – going to Europe for treatment was out of the question.
About a month before Jesse’s last night on this earth, we learned through bio-resonance (via a DC in Illinois) that Jesse had the energetic frequencies of advanced Lyme disease in his body . It made sense. Lyme is a “wasting disease” if it is prolonged without treatment, and my husband had become extremely thin. But to the oncologist – it did not matter. He saw no need to test for Lyme as, “this is just how chronic disease rolls.”
After Jesse died on this morning 5 years ago, I remember my family (parents and siblings) joining Kyle, Abby and I at the coffeehouse in town where we liked to gather after church on Sunday mornings. Weeks later, a memorial tree was planted in the creekside park behind the coffeehouse. The owner added coffee-grounds, while I added ashes, into the hole, “And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.” (Eccl. 12:7) A symbol of Jesse’s spirit and presence remaining with us in memory.
These past five years I have come to realize that my journey, with its trials and tribulations was to prepare me for my purpose. It was to introduce me to bio-resonance so that I might help others of all ages rebalance their health, both physically and mentally, so that they can more fully enjoy life. It was to open my heart to more fully rely on God.
Over time God has healed my heartbreak so that I could open it up to a new love in my life. One who allows me to cry on his shoulder, and who holds me tight when I remember this day five years ago. God is good, and God is present. During these troubled times we may question what is happening to our world. I encourage, if you have not already done so, to do an in-depth bible study on the Book of Revelation. Division is the work of Satan. The Prince of Darkness is operating at full force and gaining momentum. All of Christian faith I encourage you to pray fervently to raise the vibration and frequency of this land to be restored to that of peace, love and kindness.
The opposite of fear is love – in Jesus name,
Rita S.
(WARNING - THIS IS LONG.)
Last night I was remembering Abby singing to her father in the ER, the song “Oceans” which we had sung earlier that morning during worship service five years ago. I remember Kyle not understanding why he should remain at the hospital, as he was certain his dad would be coming home. I remembered Jesse telling the nurse that he did not want morphine – he asked for tapping. Our lifegroup church family arrived. Maureen tapped the tops of his feet, Joan B. his knees while I tapped my beloved’s forehead – to reduce his pain, so that he could remain coherent with his family and friends.
Jesse’s lung had collapsed late afternoon, and I knew in my gut that once he was taken from home to the hospital that he would not be returning. I had overheard Jesse speaking to Jesus as I sat at his bedside, so I knew it was THE day. Reflecting, I am thankful for the crazy driving of our neighbor, Shawn – as he followed the ambulance with our kids. Staying with the ambulance no matter what – even if it meant going through a red light, or two. To this day Abby still talks about Shawn’s driving at that time, Kyle laughs about it – which is a huge blessing considering the reality of the those moments in time. What I remembered, riding in the ambulance, twas that our spiritual mentor, Marv Knipfer had gone on ahead of Jesse amost 5 years earlier to the day – and would be greeting Jesse when he entered the Kingdom. Marv and Jesse were two peas in a pod, both men of great faith and complete trust in where they were going - and no fear of death. These are blessings I will always remember.
I also was a bit angry last night…remembering that the young doctor in the ER gave my husband fentanyl as a part of the procedure to drain the lung. Fentanyl – which compromises the respiratory system. When I asked why you would give a patient with a collapsed lung a drug that shuts down the lungs, his answer , “it’s standard procedure.” Seriously?! Yes, this is a large part of why I distrust the medical establishment, that and the fact that I seemed to know more about my husband’s cancer than the oncologist on a number of issues, including hormones. He was always surprised when lab tests proved me right. I frustrated him. Jesse didn’t want to take the poison – that wasn’t going to do him much good other than, “give his body more time for the immune system to kick in.” Jesse asked the doctor how putting poison in his body would engage his immune system. All the oncologist had to say is, “that’s all we have to offer.” I discussed practices/treatments done in Europe and he said that was not in his breadbox. It was chemo, radiation and Lupron….that’s all he had to offer. Since we were a family of meager financial means – going to Europe for treatment was out of the question.
About a month before Jesse’s last night on this earth, we learned through bio-resonance (via a DC in Illinois) that Jesse had the energetic frequencies of advanced Lyme disease in his body . It made sense. Lyme is a “wasting disease” if it is prolonged without treatment, and my husband had become extremely thin. But to the oncologist – it did not matter. He saw no need to test for Lyme as, “this is just how chronic disease rolls.”
After Jesse died on this morning 5 years ago, I remember my family (parents and siblings) joining Kyle, Abby and I at the coffeehouse in town where we liked to gather after church on Sunday mornings. Weeks later, a memorial tree was planted in the creekside park behind the coffeehouse. The owner added coffee-grounds, while I added ashes, into the hole, “And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.” (Eccl. 12:7) A symbol of Jesse’s spirit and presence remaining with us in memory.
These past five years I have come to realize that my journey, with its trials and tribulations was to prepare me for my purpose. It was to introduce me to bio-resonance so that I might help others of all ages rebalance their health, both physically and mentally, so that they can more fully enjoy life. It was to open my heart to more fully rely on God.
Over time God has healed my heartbreak so that I could open it up to a new love in my life. One who allows me to cry on his shoulder, and who holds me tight when I remember this day five years ago. God is good, and God is present. During these troubled times we may question what is happening to our world. I encourage, if you have not already done so, to do an in-depth bible study on the Book of Revelation. Division is the work of Satan. The Prince of Darkness is operating at full force and gaining momentum. All of Christian faith I encourage you to pray fervently to raise the vibration and frequency of this land to be restored to that of peace, love and kindness.
The opposite of fear is love – in Jesus name,
Rita S.
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