It's a very different Christmas this year. Our first celebrating as a family of three, the kids and myself.
Christmas hymns, which I love, seem to have taken on a new meaning. As we sing about angels appearing from heaven, choruses of heavenly hosts, and radiant beams I see Jesse as physically being a part of all this.
Like many churches across the world, we light candles and sing Silent Night. As I stared at the candle light before me, its warming glow on my hands, I tried to imagine what it must be like to be in the thick of the Radiant Beam in real time. To be in the physical presence of Jesus, celebrating His birthday in the flesh (so to speak, as our early flesh is no more when we transition from this world). I can only imagine a warmth so intense that it fills my body with a joy that overwhelms, in a most glorious way.
Then there is my favorite Christmas hymn, "O Holy Night" ...falling on your knees, hearing angel's voices... my God! How absolutely glorious...and I pictured Jesse in heaven falling prostrate on his knees, and a sense of longing fills my heart. Not to have him back here with me in this fallen world, but a longing to be in that same glorious presence with him. But, I know that for right now my place is here. My purpose on this earth is not yet finished. I know that God has much in store for me. I trust in the Truth that Jesus came to save the world from sin, to save ME so that I may one day relish in the glories of paradise restored and have eternal life.
So this Christmas, as my teenagers and I spend our first without their dad, I seek comfort and joy in knowing that the Lord feels my sense of grief, but is also my Rock. I am grateful for a son that is solid in his faith, and as a sometimes annoying desire to clean the house from top to bottom (yes, Christmas eve he decided to gut all the kitchen cupboards - ALL - and going through all those things was not on my to do list). I am grateful for a daughter who is almost always cheerful (when she is not overtired), and has a love for music, endless chatter and loves spending time with me.
As my friend said to me the other day when we were driving to Chicago, the lyrics of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" are truly profound, for God wishes only to bring us comfort and joy. I am thankful for her thoughts. When we sit in the quiet of His holy presence, we can bask in that comfort, and feel joy in His gift of love and mercy, that is never ending. From this dimension and into the next....
Christmas hymns, which I love, seem to have taken on a new meaning. As we sing about angels appearing from heaven, choruses of heavenly hosts, and radiant beams I see Jesse as physically being a part of all this.
Like many churches across the world, we light candles and sing Silent Night. As I stared at the candle light before me, its warming glow on my hands, I tried to imagine what it must be like to be in the thick of the Radiant Beam in real time. To be in the physical presence of Jesus, celebrating His birthday in the flesh (so to speak, as our early flesh is no more when we transition from this world). I can only imagine a warmth so intense that it fills my body with a joy that overwhelms, in a most glorious way.
Then there is my favorite Christmas hymn, "O Holy Night" ...falling on your knees, hearing angel's voices... my God! How absolutely glorious...and I pictured Jesse in heaven falling prostrate on his knees, and a sense of longing fills my heart. Not to have him back here with me in this fallen world, but a longing to be in that same glorious presence with him. But, I know that for right now my place is here. My purpose on this earth is not yet finished. I know that God has much in store for me. I trust in the Truth that Jesus came to save the world from sin, to save ME so that I may one day relish in the glories of paradise restored and have eternal life.
So this Christmas, as my teenagers and I spend our first without their dad, I seek comfort and joy in knowing that the Lord feels my sense of grief, but is also my Rock. I am grateful for a son that is solid in his faith, and as a sometimes annoying desire to clean the house from top to bottom (yes, Christmas eve he decided to gut all the kitchen cupboards - ALL - and going through all those things was not on my to do list). I am grateful for a daughter who is almost always cheerful (when she is not overtired), and has a love for music, endless chatter and loves spending time with me.
As my friend said to me the other day when we were driving to Chicago, the lyrics of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" are truly profound, for God wishes only to bring us comfort and joy. I am thankful for her thoughts. When we sit in the quiet of His holy presence, we can bask in that comfort, and feel joy in His gift of love and mercy, that is never ending. From this dimension and into the next....
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